Battles

As with any family...we have a bizillion battles a day.

Let me just list some of our daily ones:

Morning Milk Cup Battle
Placemat Battle
Short-sleeves vs. Long-sleeves Battle
Counter vs. Toilet to Brush Teeth Battle
Boots vs. Sneakers Battle
JUST EAT YOUR FREAKING LUNCH Battle
Please Just Get in the Car Battle
He's Looking at Me Battle
He's Laughing at Me Battle
He's Roaring at Me Battle
I Wanted that First Battle
JUST EAT YOUR BLASTED DINNER Battle
I Don't Want Those Pajamas Battle
I Wanted to Turn Out the Light Battle
You Snuggled Him First LAST Night Battle

Do I really need to go on?  It is absolutely exhausting.  Today I actually had to give myself a timeout in my room where I begged God to help me find some self-control before I trashed the whole house and ran for a Dairy Queen. 

I tell myself every day to choose each battle wisely.  I think that was a lot easier though when there was just one little warrior to go toe-to-toe with every day.  Of course it's even more important to choose wisely when there are more bruisers in the ring.  I get it.  But oh some days it feels like they wake up to fight. 

Yesterday at lunch Sam and I were in the ring.  He wasn't eating.  We had to get to preschool for his Valentine's Day party and it was taking him forever to eat the smallest requirement.  I was sure that there was going to be pounds of sugar at the party and he was already suffering from a birthday weekend from refined sugar hell.  I threatened him that if he didn't finish his lunch by a certain time, he wasn't going to make it to school at all.  Do you know what he said to me?  He said, "I think you'll change your mind."  And he was SMILING!!!   
Here is why this was so maddening to me.  I don't change my mind.  I almost always stick to my guns.  And when I do change my mind, it is usually attached to an apology for giving a consequence that isn't fitting for an offense and then I follow it up with a more appropriate one.  I work hard to be consistent. 
I was even more mad because I really didn't want him to miss school yesterday.  For his sake.  He needed to be there.  My two desires of not wanting him to miss out and yet wanting him to suffer appropriate consequences were battling it out inside of me.  It was torture.  I even had back-up.  Jonathan's mom was here encouraging me and affirming me in how hard the decision was and whatever decision I made.  
I want so badly to say that I won.  I want to say that he had to stay home and miss the party because it took him an hour and a half to eat one piece of sandwich meat and one slice of cheese.  But in the nick of time, I got the last bite into his mouth and he got to go to school.  I fed him the entire lunch.  I bartered every single bite he took.  It should have been his deal.  It should have been his choice.  And therefore his consequence.  But I did it for him so that he could go.  I felt like such a failure.  

More defeating than the lunch battle, was my behavior afterwards.  Getting Sam's teeth brushed to go, socks, shoes, backpack, carseat...I was so ridiculous.  I was so mad at Sam and at myself that I couldn't move on and actually set my 5 year old up for a great day at school.  My face and body language were downright childish.  By the time I got Sam buckled, he was crying because I was mad at him.  Really Beck?  Really?  So now we are skating into preschool late not because of Sam's lunch, but because I needed to take a breather, look my son in the eyes and apologize for MY bad choices.  Disappointing.  Humbling.  More disappointing. 

I'm actually hoping like crazy for yesterday's lunch battle to occur again on a day where he doesn't have a party.  I want a re-match.   

Sam-1, Beck-0

Sir Samuel's 5th Birthday

Sam has been looking forward to this day for a very long time. 

His first friend birthday party!   

He decided about three months ago that he wanted a "Knight Party". 

Now, can I just be honest?  I am not a huge fan of the Medieval times.  When I read a book or see a movie about those times, I thank God that I was not born in them.  I mean really.  I imagine cold, darkness, cruelty and painful death.  Lots of painful death. 

So it took some research for me to wrap my head around a happy five-year-old birthday party all about... knights.  

Here's another side note: Sam doesn't really know anything about knights except that they are on the movie Shrek 2.  And swords and shields are great but we aren't a big "weapon family" per se, so this is pretty new to all of us.  That being said, each kid went home with a sword and a shield.  They all participated in a sword fight and they slayed a teenage dragon at the neighbors' house across the street.  (The famous Flemwads)  Our non-violent home became a regular medieval battle scene.  See?  I'm flexible. 

Now, if you know Sam, you know that impressing him isn't particularly easy.  Especially if it has to involve a lot of others.  He was very clear with us while planning this party that he didn't want there to be too many people.  When I had suggested more friends he told me very seriously, "Mom, I cannot have everybody I like there."  The kid knows himself better than any kid I've ever heard of.  So we eliminated younger siblings and even told parents to feel free to drop their knights and princesses off in order to have the least amount of chaos on the scene. 

I made a castle cake for the party.  You wouldn't believe how many castle cakes you can find on the internet.  I found the one that looked the easiest and went for it.  I'm pretty proud of it as it is my very first creative endeavor.  When you look at the picture, look quickly and not closely.  Frosting and candy cover a multitude of imperfections.  By the way, I've never seen a blue castle either, but Sam wanted it blue.  So it was blue. 

Boys entered wearing their knightly armor and girls arrived in their gowns.  I of course was the queen and Jonathan was the king.  So I wore the dress Sam chose and Jonathan borrowed clothes from a friend.  

The kids decorated shields and tiaras, rescued the princesses, had a sword fight, beat down the teenage dragon at our neighbor's house, ate mac 'n cheese and then totally demolished my cake.

The party was a success.  Sam had a blast.  He was beaming and so at ease.  He felt great as the host of this festivity and I'm postitive that he was impressed.  AMEN!  I was so proud of him and so happy for him.

The Castle Cake

  We bought the knight figurines at Michael's Craft Store. 

The were the only things on the cake that weren't edible. 

 

I'd say we were a pretty royal looking family. 



Disclaimer:  Mom's if you are reading this:  Blue frosting makes for interesting colored....waste.  So don't freak out. Your kids aren't sick. 

Samuel

Five years ago today, you came Sam.

You turned my heart upside down and you continue to do it every single day of your life.

 

When I tell you that I am crazy about you, I mean that literally. 

I am crazy. 

The love I have for you makes me crazy. 

The worry I have for you makes me crazy.

 

The dreams I have for you might be crazy.

 

I would do crazy things for you. 

Samuel, I am crazy about you. 

Happy Birthday Sweet Sam. 

Thank you for turning my life upside down.



The Joke is Always on Me.

I actually thought that the adorable twenty-something gentleman at the bus stop was not deceived by my mini-van, but could actually see beyond the loser-cruiser to appreciate the fine, youthful looking hottie that this momma still is.  Why else would he have given me that second look and that flirty little grin as I passed by him today on our morning errands? 
Well... Jonathan is the reason for the smile.  How so you ask? 
My husband LOVES to pull pranks on a certain family in our lives.  We'll just call them...the Flemwads.  (No I did not misspell that.)  Not only does he love it, he is pretty darn good at it.  I love watching him come up with his ideas.  He really is very creative most of the time. 
One Christmas he blew up an inflatable polar bear in their front entry so that they could hardly get in the door. 

Another Christmas, when they left their Christmas tree on the top of their car overnight, he stole it.  The next morning when they pulled out of their driveway without noticing the missing tree, he decorated it in their front yard.  It was there to greet them as they pulled in.  This was of course after they had driven around looking for the tree they thought had rolled off of their car between home and church. 

Another opportunity he grabbed onto was when they had a cord of firewood delivered to their house.  They didn't stack it soon enough so Jonathan and two friends stayed up all night to stack it for them.

Yep.  He's clever. 

Here is the problem:
  I am the one who suffers for these pranks.  The retaliation always comes down on me. 

After that little firewood trick, the Flemwads got inside of our house and moved all of the furniture in front of the door so that we couldn't get in.  I happened to be nine months pregnant with Ben and had just returned from our neighborhood pool with a tired and wet, 2 and a half year old Sam in my arms.   Like I said, I was also due to have Ben so my bladder was ABOUT TO BETRAY ME.  The Flemwads had conveniently driven away just as I was walking up, so I had to walk all the way back to the pool to use the restroom and then sit on our front steps and wait for Jonathan to get home with the garage door opener so that Sam and I could get in the house!  NOT FUNNY!

The latest little trick of Jonathan's was to hang our broken toilet seat on their front door.  Harmless. 

This brings me to today's smile from the gentleman at the bus stop. 

I had no idea. 



I Hike to Impress the Guys

...three guys in particular.  I enjoy hiking.  I love being outside in the fresh air.  I love getting a decent workout just by having fun.  I love seeing things I haven't seen before.  But mostly because all three of my guys are exactly who God created them to be when they are hiking.  It's not an exaggeration. 

Jonathan is the one who really introduced me to this recreational experience.  I hadn't really hiked prior to meeting him but some of our best dates and memories have been on a trail.  It's time to breathe together, time to talk, time to process before we answer questions and time to learn about each other.  My dear groom learned early into our marriage that my "fear" of snakes results in more than just a little squeal and a skip away from the evil thing and rather full-on hysterics and sobbing for the next hour or so, followed by nightmares for a number of nights after the event.  Had he not learned this crucial fact about me on a hike...he may have thought it funny to play a wee trick on me someday which would have absolutely, no question resulted in his own death.  So the love of hiking has served us well in our marriage as well as our personal well being!
The same is true for our boys.  Now, we are not a Chuck E. Cheese, Charlie Safari or Arcade family.  Absolute chaos confined between four walls does not set this momma up for success.  In fact, even an innocent children's birthday party can lead me to a corner practicing breathing excercises and finding my happy place.  Funny thing: the same is true for my firstborn.  Too many people, too much noise and too much food sends Sam to a quiet place inside of himself that means, "Let's just get out of here while we are still ahead". 

Therefore, a trail is our favorite place to be as a family.  All of the benefits that Jonathan and I enjoy on a hike together are true for the four of us as well. We get to breathe.  We get to talk.  We get to take time to listen and to work on our answers to some really wonderful questions!  We learn so much about what our boys are wondering and guessing on their own.  Amazing things come out of their little mouths.  And we get to witness and share their absolute love for Creation. 

There is another effect on Sam and Ben that we love to witness.  When we are on a hike...THEY ADORE EACH OTHER.  They are always on the same team.  They think everything the other one does is brilliant and hilarious.  They want to help each other have a tremendous experience.  We don't totally understand it.  But we really don't care.  We just revel in it!

The trail is our happy place.

This being said, anything truly wonderful in life has it's complications.  I do not enjoy adventures in which I have no idea what to expect.  I want to know a few things:  How long will this adventure take?  Will there be snow?  Why is the trail called "Rattlesnake Ridge"?  We have had our share of obstacles, disappointments and failed expectations. 

There is a very helpful book by Joan Burton titled Best Hikes with Kids: Western Washington & the Cascades.  It gives us all the information I'm wondering, including pictures.  I could just stick to this book and do what it says every time we go.  Like I said, I want to know what to expect.  Jonathan however is more of a trail blazer and likes to discover great things on his own.  Sometimes in places that make me a little bit unsure. 

When we find ourselves in these situations, I go through some scenarios in my head. 
(1) We wander up on a mother bear...I let Ginger, our 14 year old Golden Retriever off of her leash to protect us... That doesn't work...I tell the guys to run while I offer up my own generous body fat to satisfy the bear while my family begins their new life with out their matriarch. 
(2) We happen upon a family of rattle snakes...I use my most authoritative voice to snap the boys into total obedience while we slowly back away...I cry myself to sleep for the following two months.
(3) We mistakenly follow a faint path that leads us to a group of crazy-naked-mountain-men drinking moonshine and playing banjos... I have to stop there. 

So we love our hikes, I have a terrifying inner dialogue battling me every single time, and as you can imagine we have memorable moments each time we go.  I hope to share some of our adventures as well as what to expect from specific locations...from a mom's perspective. 

I'd also love to hear about hikes in the Northwest that you've taken your family on!