(Caution! Bathroom Talk to Follow!)
I'm struggling. We've entered the stage of "How inappropriate can I be without getting a consequence?"
I know that I'm on the stricter side than some but I really try to choose my battles wisely. Language is an important part of who we are. It says a lot about us. It can reveal one's level of respect, responsibility and wisdom as well as the amount of compassion, empathy, and love one has for others. I want our boys to communicate and play in a way that is respectful and loving to anyone who might witness it.
That being said, they aren't puppets or robots. I know this full well. I can try as intentionally as possible to teach to their hearts and "train" their behavior. But let's be real...
So we have three strains of "inappropriate" dominating our household these days:
Potty Talk. Body Talk. Violent Talk.
If you know me at all, you know that I'm most averse to the latter of the three. Truthfully, I get a kick out of Potty talk myself. Who doesn't appreciate a good joke about poop or letting one rip? Okay well I do. But as we all know there is a time and a place.
Body talk is important and a part of our every day lives. We take this one very seriously and encourage it in context. But again, context!
Violent talk on the other hand has no place in my heart or home. We all poop. We all have private parts. We don't all shoot and kill people. So no. I can't find a way to justify jokes about cutting your brother's arm off, beating him all the way to jail or setting his eyeball on fire. Roll your eyes at me. But its my house.
Here are the latest little jokes the boys love:
Ben will walk up to one of us at any given moment, point his hip up toward us and say in his deep, loud, gravelly voice, "TOOOOT!!". I can't help it. I fall apart. It's not funny because he's pretending to toot on us. It's funny because of the way he lifts his hip. The way he says it with his adorable lips puckered out like a bugle. The way that he and Sam bust apart laughing immediately after. And that he came up with this act totally on his own! I think the best part of this little stunt is that he often does it when he feels the mood needs a bit of lightening. He is already such a middle child.
They both love the word 'booby' right now. They thought they made it up themselves so they didn't know that it actually already has a meaning. Sam kept calling Ben things like, "squishy booby underpants" and "booby tooter". So when asked what their new word means they informed us that it means 'stinky'. Awesome. So that's a new favorite word in our house. Along w/ penis, buns, toots, barf and poop. Booby. The other day when Sam told me he was going to "poop his boob out" I just about gagged on my tooth brush. It was then that I had to share that the word actually has another meaning. As respectfully as I could I shared how the word "booby" is used. They looked at me like I had ruined all of their fun. The actual meaning was a total bore. Fine.
They love the word "fart" but are only allowed to use it in their room together. So we regularly hear them blurting out all of the "bad words" they can say alone together in their room and then laughing hysterically. Most of the time they use these words in such ridiculous and nonsensical ways. But oh it's fun right?!
Here's a disturbing one...the other day after the boys got out of the tub one of them accidentally slapped their own private part w/ his own hand. Well...there began the giggles and nonsensical talk (talk only) about spanking each others penises. They are so fascinated by their own anatomy and how hilarious it is. Today Sam was having a conversation with his...
You see where these things start to get out of hand now right? There is good harmless fun and then there's stuff that we just have to put an end to before I get called into Sam's kindergarten class next year with big questions about what in the world goes on in our home! Or worse yet, BEN'S PRESCHOOL CLASS!
Drawing the line and then explaining to them why that crosses the line is sometimes blurry.
We approach most of these issues with a general rule that we can have potty and body talk at home in the privacy of our family but not around others and not in public. We want them to know that we can talk about anything as a family but not everything is appropriate to laugh about or share with others.
With the coming of a new baby, there have been great questions. Mainly about how their sister is going to... exit me. It's great! We get to teach our kids about life in the context of family and health. We get to share with them the true, natural, God designed uses for our bodies and functions.
But still. Some of the things these clowns are coming up with in humor is not even going to fly in private. They just snowball from Ridiculous Land into Unquestionably Inappropriate and Downright Disturbing Land. They expect a consequence or "the look" from me when their language turns bloody and painful. However, when they are just being silly about bowel movements or their anatomy and it has gone too far in my eyes, it's harder for them to understand where they crossed the line. Answering why one thing is funny and another has gone too far gets complicated.
So they walk the line. My line. They say their joke with a giggle, watch me carefully and then proceed to go further with caution. It's confusing. Mostly for me. I look at Jonathan and he so often just shrugs like it's... normal. "Really?!" I ask. Bizarre. Other times there's no denying just how far over the line they are and we have to go all "parent" on them.
Now that there is a sister coming....a whole new can of worms is about to open up! One that I welcome but will need to navigate intentionally and thoughtfully out of respect for her and every woman they encounter in the future. I need to start praying for their wives more diligently. God help them.
