It was comedy really. One of those things that you are able to laugh about moments later but in the actual moment you are just thankful a friend was there to witness it so that you didn't have to mouth the words "What the (fill in the blank)?!!" to your innocent children.
Sam is what we call behind his back "not an eater". To call him 'picky' would be a gross understatement. We don't know where he came from. But he is ours and this is something we have to cleverly navigate, pick and choose battles around and sometimes just plain trick him. For the most part, we are constantly encouraging him to try new things, eat just a tiny bit more, and for the sake of the rest of us who love food...to not speak negatively about it. Nonetheless, it's hard. He has a smattering of foods that he definitely likes and wants to eat. He has another small group of foods that he will tolerate but refuses to admit "liking". There is an equally small group of food that he will eat bite-by-miserable-bite when he knows he has to all the while looking as if he is going to toss it up any second. And then the rest is absolutely non-negotiable. There is no way he can be motivated to touch it.
With this comes other obstacles of course! Sam would rather just eat at home vs. most restaraunts because he knows how I am going to make the food and he doesn't know how it will be made elsewhere. Eating with friends is a joke. Well meaning adults who have no experience with this kind of "picky" can be exhausting. And of course my own fears that some day this country will face an economy my grandparents recall where "peanut butter and honey sandwiches" will be too expensive to make and Sam will just die. Just. Die. People! Of starvation! Because he's THAT stubborn!
Well anyway, Sam started FIRST GRADE this September at our neighborhood public school. Last year he attended Kindergarten at the very small private school he had also attended for two years of preschool. So this is all very new to us! Full days, big classroom, one teacher and... LUNCH at school!
I have been sending him to school with lunches that he would typically eat, knowing full well that he will come home with most of it still in his Spiderman lunchbox and that he'll be very hungry upon return. I'm not completely naive. I have set my expectations low. So it was very exciting for me to see him looking over the school lunch calendar one day very carefully and saying to me, "I think I'd like to try this sometime." I masked my excitement (of course) and let him know that he could choose one lunch a week to buy. He started studying the calendar and making comments about the choices.
One Monday morning he decided that he was going to buy lunch that day. It was grilled cheese sandwiches. This was surprising to me because grilled cheese sandwiches are usually in the "I'll eat this but I don't like it" category. Regardless, he was excited. Very excited. So I was over the moon!
As we approached Sam's school we joined up with good friends to cross the cross-walk. I said to my friend Kari (who is totally in the know of Sam's...nutritional preferences), "Sam is so excited to try school lunch today! He can't wait to have the grilled cheese sandwich!" To which the adult crossing guard replied, "Oh they actually aren't very good. I think they are way over cooked."
This is the moment I'm talking about. The moment you realize that grown men and women can completely sabotage some of the grueling work you are doing at home with your kids! And they get paid for it!!!
Sam of course didn't miss a beat and asked, "What isn't very good? What is over-cooked?"
I had to reply, "Oh you know that rule we have that you can't say bad things about food? Well she isn't following our rule. And I'm not her mom so I can't do anything about it."
That's when I turned to Kari and mouthed my all too often chosen expletive because I was in absolute shock. Kari of course affirmed my shock with the same shock and we walked the rest of the way to the classroom line-ups with our mouths open, eyes crazy and our heads shaking in disbelief.
Needless to say, he did not choose the grilled cheese when he got to lunch. He plopped a pile of plain spaghetti noodles,one required baby carrot and a chocolate milk on his tray. Which... come to find out is the reason he wants school lunch once a week. Chocolate milk. Figures.
