Boys Meet Girl

A couple of weeks ago I had to break some "bad" news to Sam and Ben.  They were light heartedly arguing over which one of them was going to marry Maria when they grow up.  Maria is their three-month-old sister.  Some day this will be repulsive to them.  However for now, its a horrible injustice that marrying your sister is illegal. 
"It's ILLEGAL?!!" they both say to me in unison with gigantic eyes and expressions of total shock and disgust with our legal system. 
"Yes," I say matter of factly. 
"Well we'll just lie about it then!" Sam yells through laughter as he runs out of the room.
"Yeah!  We'll LIE!" Ben squeals as he follows Sam to whatever they do while I'm tied up changing another diaper.

Let's just say...they love her.  A lot. 

We knew they were going to love her.  We even knew that their love for her would look different between the two of them.  And it really does. 

When Ben was a baby I remember Sam holding him and saying to me, "I love him so much I want to laugh my head off."  I totally identified with that crazy kind of love.  That's how Ben loves Maria right now.  He has such an intense nervous energy around her that sometimes she actually flinches a little when she knows he's coming.  He gets up close to her and says "Maria I LOVE you!" "Maria you're GOOD!" "Maria I'm your big BRUDDER!" in such a sweet... and somewhat maniacal way.  His kisses leave a slimy wet mess on her head and sometimes I think they just might bruise her.  He talks to her as if she actually understands what he's saying.  "Maria watch this... Did you see that Maria?"  Ben's love for her is obvious.  But it's also very obvious that he can't wait for her to grow older and be big enough to play.  I can't wait to watch that! 

Sam is another story.  I have a prediction that Maria will do no wrong in his eyes for the rest of their lives.  Here's an example of how that plays out right now:
If you know Sam, you know that he HATES messes.  He needs a wash cloth at the table while he eats so that his hands and mouth are never messy.  He actually buzzes around the house to clean up toys that are left out so that there isn't anything in his way to play something else.  Kitchen cabinet doors left open drive him crazy.  BUT...  Maria puked on him this morning and he laughed about it.  Really.  Ben (my Tazmanian Devil) is sent into hysterics over spit up landing on him but Sam (my perfectionist) actually thought it was endearing. 
His linear, scheduled world will screech to a halt for a chance to hold and snuggle her.  When we drop him off at Kindergarten he makes sure to kiss her goodbye.  When we pick him up, he returns straight to her.  He definitely gets the most smiles and it's clear that she trusts him.  There is a sweetness about his love for her and pride in her that I could not have imagined or expected.  And that melts me. 

Let's be real here though.  There are absolutely times where I have to tell them both to back the heck off.  As gentle and sweet as they are, sometimes it's just too much.  This poor girl is never going to know the meaning of "personal space".  I myself am fighting for those two precious words daily.  Especially when I'm nursing Maria.  The boys see nothing private or sacred about my space in these moments.  Why should they?  It happens every 2-3 hours, all day, every day where ever we are.  It's such a normal fact of life to them and I'm so thankful for that.  But it's hardly the time that I want them climbing all over me to get down close and smooch her on the cheeks.  That's my no-fly-zone thank you very much.  
At times their desire to be close to her and snuggle her becomes all too selfish and I need to drop the hammer.  Fights break out over who gets to be closer to her, who gets to hold her, who held her last, longer or better.  She is often reduced to the likeness of a puppy. 

Life and love in this house are far from perfect but all things considered, we are thrilled with how well Sam and Ben have received Maria into their lives!

Although I've shared with the boys that it's illegal to marry their sister, the subject hasn't altogether gone away.  Yesterday they declared that when they grow up they will have a lightsaber battle to decide which one of them gets to marry her.  I tried not to shoot down the idea entirely and suggested that they have a battle with whomever wants to marry her someday.  I was clear that this guy will have to battle both of them and Jonathan.  I truly think that the idea of them one day letting another male into our family to love Maria was too much for them to handle and the conversation just ended.

I am absolutely going to bring lightsabers to the rehearsal dinner of her wedding some day.